MBTI Relationship: Hardest Personality Types to Get Over a Breakup

 

A cartoon image illustrating the difference between T-types and F-types in heartbreak, with four hexagonal portraits of different MBTI types crying.

Why does the end of a relationship feel more heartbreaking for some people?

According to a 16-personality survey, the speed of recovery after a breakup varies among different personality types:

some people need a longer time to recover, while others hope to end the pain more quickly. Here are the survey results on "depending on others" among the 16 personality types.


The Personality Types That Have the Hardest Time Getting Over a Breakup

According to the official 16-personality website, when asked, "Do you usually need a long time to recover from a breakup?", the personality types most likely to answer "yes" are ranked as follows:

A bar chart illustrating the ranking of MBTI personality types by the time it usually takes to recover from a breakup. The chart shows that Feeling (F) types, such as INFJ, INFP, ENFP, and ENFJ, tend to rank higher in recovery time.
  • No. 1: 74.7% of INFJs (The Advocate)
  • No. 2: 72.2% of ISFJs (The Defender)
  • No. 3: 72.1% of INFPs (The Mediator)
  • No. 4: 69.5% of ESFJs (The Consul)
  • No. 5: 65.6% of ENFJs (The Protagonist)
  • No. 6: 63.4% of ENFPs & ESFPs (tie)
  • No. 7: 63.2% of ISFPs (The Adventurer)

The Personality Types That Recover Fastest from a Breakup

Conversely, based on the lowest agreement rates to the question above, the top six personality types are:

  • No. 1: 27.8% of ESTPs (The Entrepreneur)
  • No. 2: 37.9% of ENTPs (The Debater)
  • No. 3: 38.7% of ISTPs (The Virtuoso)
  • No. 4: 39.11% of ENTJs (The Commander)
  • No. 5: 42.8% of INTJs (The Architect)
  • No. 6: 44.9% of ISTJs (The Logistician)
  • No. 7: 49.7% of INTPs (The Logician)
  • No. 8: 52.5% of ESTJs (The Executive)

"F-types" vs. "T-types" in Breakups

When asked, "Do you consciously try to avoid depending on others?", about 83% of respondents said they usually try to avoid it.

But T-types have a greater tendency than F-types to avoid depending on others, with 89% of Thinking types saying they try to avoid dependency, while only 77% of Feeling types agree.

75% of Feeling types agree that "life becomes easier when you have someone around," while the average agreement rate for Thinking types is 46%.

A cartoon illustrating two scenes with MBTI-style characters; one involves giving flowers, the other shows a character upset about a failing grade.

We can review the definitions of "F-types" (Feeling) and "T-types" (Thinking) in MBTI theory:

(T) Thinking: Thinking/Logical people focus on objectivity and rationality, prioritizing logic over emotions. They tend to hide their feelings and believe efficiency is more important than cooperation.

(F) Feeling: Feeling/Perceptive people weigh the impact on people's emotional interactions, prioritizing emotions over logic. Compared to Thinking types, they are more empathetic, less competitive, and more focused on social harmony and cooperation.

T-types: More eager to quickly end the grieving process
F-types: Find it harder to give up

Thinking (T) personality types will try to view heavy emotions or attachments as something they can control.

Feeling (F) personality types may be more likely to succumb to their emotional state.

This doesn't mean "T-types don't fall in love," it's just that they are unwilling to let emotions manipulate their life situation.

A cartoon illustration of a couple having breakfast in bed. A man and a woman are sitting together with a tray of food and drinks, with a speech bubble containing a green heart above the man's head.

Interestingly, in a survey on "sadness," 65% of Thinking types said they would try to accelerate the grieving process, while only 41% of Feeling types said they would.

In a survey on "giving up and letting go," when asked, "Does it usually take a long time for you to give up on something after you realize you should?", nearly 69% of Feeling types reported that it takes them a long time, while the number for Thinking types is 49%.


After a Breakup: "Sadness" or "Anger"?

When asked, "Do you feel more sadness or anger after being rejected?", T-types and F-types also have different reactions:

  • Among F-types, 84% feel more sadness, and only 16% feel anger.
  • Among T-types, 57% feel sadness, and 43% feel anger.
A cartoon illustration of a couple breaking up, with a man and a woman standing apart with their luggage. In the background, a house and a heart are split in two by a lightning bolt, symbolizing a broken relationship.

This means that T-types are more likely to be angry than F-types after a breakup.

While everyone experiences both emotions to some extent when dealing with a breakup, getting more caught up in anger than sadness can affect whether a person internalizes the rejection, how they think and feel about their ex, and how long it takes them to move on.

@Turbulent vs. @Assertive: Who Dwells on Breakups More?

We see a similar trend in "Turbulent" vs. "Assertive" personalities, with 67% of Turbulent (-T) personalities saying it takes them a while to recover from a breakup, while the proportion for Assertive (-A) personalities is 47%. So if you are both a Feeling type and a Turbulent type, you are more likely to need a long time to recover from a breakup.


Final Thoughts

It's really hard to continue recovering emotionally after a breakup, and it seems like a prolonged battle between your head and your heart.

It's easy to get lost in nostalgia for a relationship that meant a lot to you. We always tend to look back at the good memories and special moments of a relationship, but at the end of the day, no relationship is perfect.

A cartoon illustration of a sad woman holding a torn photograph of a couple. In the background, a larger, broken photo of the same couple hangs on the wall, and a speech bubble with a cracked heart symbolizes heartbreak.

If the relationship ended, there must have been a reason. Removing the "beautifying filter" and fully accepting the relationship for what it was—the good and the bad—is a very necessary step to moving on after a breakup.

It's normal to feel lonely after a breakup. But you must remember that there are many other people in your life who care about you. Your other relationships also deserve the same time and energy you put into your romantic one; your ex is not the only person you can lean on. Why certain MBTI types are hard to be single

A hexagonal avatar representing the ENFP personality type, with a green baseball cap and blond hair.

Assertive Campaigner: Romance (ENFP-A)

How does an ENFP get over a breakup? First, they go into the dark depths of their soul... a deep spiritual meltdown and a complete system reboot... do some stupid things, get addicted, etc., and then they come to their senses and try to reinvent themselves on a brand new foundation. It's as if: we first need to destroy everything and then rebuild before we have a chance to accept moving on. At least, that's what I do. Which MBTI Types Are Most Affected by Others' Emotions?

 

A hexagonal avatar representing the INFJ personality type, with short green hair and green earrings.

Cautious Advocate: Mance (INFJ-T)

A breakup doesn't have to be a door-slamming departure. Sometimes, we just need time to process emotions and get away from the background noise. The "INFJ door slam" is usually a last resort when you've caused—and continue to cause—us so much pain that the only thing we can do is shut you out completely. When MBTI meets love: Taking stock of those unique love quirks

 

A hexagonal avatar representing the ESFJ personality type, with short dark hair and a confident smile.

Cautious Protagonist: Lomax (ENFJ-T)

Breakups are hard, especially for ENFJs. If I've been with someone for a while but my mind keeps telling me the relationship isn't right, a switch flips in my brain, telling me I have to let go. But I still need a few weeks to get the courage to end it (even though I know ending it quickly would reduce the pain). How ENFP Friends Bring Joy and Adventure to Everyday Life

 

A hexagonal avatar representing the INFP personality type, with light green hair and a green beanie.

Cautious Mediator: Pickle (INFP-T)

For me, you don't recover from heartbreak. You just learn to use the pain.

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