The 16 MBTI Personality Types' "Internal Friction Ranking"

A graphic titled "MBTI internal friction level ranking" features four illustrations representing the personalities with the most and least internal friction, including INTJ, ISTP, INFJ, and INFP.

"They like me, they don't like me..."

Why do some people care so much about what others think, while others don't?

To understand the different personality traits and the "tendency to be liked by others," 16personalities launched a related survey.

Which **MBTI Personality Types** Care More About Being Liked?

When asked, "When someone you like doesn't like you back, are you truly saddened by it?", the personality types most likely to choose "yes" are:

A bar chart titled "Agree that 'it's really sad when the person you like rejects you'," ranking the 16 MBTI personality types, with NF types prominently at the top, indicating their higher agreement to feeling saddened by rejection.
  • No. 1: 83.4% of INFJs (The Advocate)
  • No. 2: 82.8% of INFPs (The Mediator)
  • No. 3: 80.9% of ENFPs (The Campaigner)
  • No. 4: 78.4% of ENFJs (The Protagonist)
  • No. 5: 76.4% of ISFJs (The Defender)
  • No. 6: 75.4% of ISFPs (The Adventurer)
  • No. 7: 70.9% of ESFPs (The Entertainer)
  • No. 8: 70.6% of ENTPs (The Debater)

The survey data shows that personality types with the Feeling trait are more likely to agree that they have a need to be liked.

The Feeling and Thinking traits show a difference of 78% agree vs. 65% agree, respectively.

As one of the most sensitive groups, the NF group (Greens), when someone they like doesn't like them back, their intuitive trait kicks in:

they want to find out why. "Why did things happen this way? What does it mean?"

An illustration of the ENFJ, INFP, ENFP, and INFJ personalities, which are often perceived as being more sensitive and likely to be saddened by rejection.

NF types tend to over-analyze things through an emotional lens, which can be exhausting and make the whole situation more frustrating.

The Intuitive trait (N) is also more curious about what others think of them than the Sensing trait (S).

The Personality Types with Less "Internal Friction"

Conversely, from the survey data, we found that the types most likely to disagree that they "care about being liked" are:

  • No. 1: 55.7% of ISTPs (The Virtuoso)
  • No. 2: 59.9% of ESTJs (The Executive)
  • No. 3: 61.1% of ISTJs (The Logistician)
  • No. 4: 62.3% of ESTPs (The Entrepreneur)
  • No. 5: 67.2% of INTPs (The Logician)
  • No. 6: 66.9% of INTJs (The Architect)
  • No. 7: 68.6% of ENTJs (The Commander)
  • No. 8: 68.8% of ESFJs (The Consul)

As S-types, they are more realistic and pragmatic than N-types because they know that not everyone they meet will like them.

Of course, they will still feel sad when someone they like doesn't reciprocate, but these down-to-earth individuals are less likely to dwell on all the possible reasons for the rejection.

When facing rejection, their realistic trait helps to balance any unsettling anxiety.

An illustration of a person sitting and looking at their phone, with thought bubbles showing them engaged in various individual activities like exercising, listening to music, and shopping, representing a focus on personal interests.

The identity trait also shows a difference: Turbulent (-T) types are more likely to care about what others think of them than Assertive (-A) types.

Turbulent (-T) types tend to strive for perfection, which means that if someone they like rejects them, they may feel the need to fix the problem.

Trying too hard to make yourself likable can, in the long run, make things worse.

  • Among all personality types, Turbulent Advocates (INFJ-T) and Turbulent Campaigners (ENFP-T) are most likely to agree that they care about being liked by others.
  • Assertive Virtuosos (ISTP-A) are least likely to agree that they care about whether others like them.
  • For Assertive ISTPs, there are always new opportunities and challenges to deal with, and new people to meet.

Generally, 

it's natural to care whether others like you.

 First, humans are social animals, so we experience a painful biological reaction when we are rejected. It is a product of your experiences and often a sign of your compassion.

When someone we like doesn't reciprocate our affection, we feel hurt and frustrated, especially for personality types with Turbulent (-T), Feeling (F), and Intuitive (N) traits.

Illustration of various MBTI personality types socializing. The image shows people interacting in different ways, highlighting social chemistry and personality differences.

It's easy to start questioning your own value when someone explicitly states they don't like you. But all of our actions are driven by our own insecurities and unique experiences.

Remember, it's not a personal issue. In most cases, being liked or disliked is a measure of mutual **mbti compatibility**.

Finally, instead of dwelling on whether someone likes you, it's better to spend more time with those who do. Focusing your energy on relationships with people who appreciate you will be a more meaningful use of your time and social energy in the long run.

An illustration of the INFP personality type, a person with blonde hair and a green flower accessory.

Cautious Mediator: Yayi (INFP-T)
In my last relationship, I completely didn't understand why the other person liked me, and it was important to me (at least in my mind) to know why, but I don't know why I needed to know.

It just seemed so important to me so I could feel secure enough to have such a relationship again.

An illustration of the INFJ personality type, a person wearing a green cap with a somewhat sad or pensive expression.

Cautious Advocate: Yannick (INFJ-T)
Yes, there will always be people who don't understand you or don't like you for various reasons. Everyone has experienced this.

However, there is a difference between making a genuine effort to communicate effectively in a way others can understand (which is not actually that difficult) and demanding others make an effort to understand you (when they may not even be aware of, willing to try, or motivated to understand).

Waiting for others to come to you is a recipe for a miserable life. Don't fall into this trap.

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