The Influence of Family on Our Personality Chemistry | The SJ Group

Our family is a crucial starting point for our growth.

For the 16 personality types, why are family pressures and expectations sometimes difficult to manage? The answer may be related to our personality traits.

The 16 Personalities and Family Dynamics

1- ISTJ (The Logistician)

ISTJ children are often quiet and serious, yet intellectually gifted. These highly responsible children are realistic, grounded, and steady.

ISTJs deeply care about their family and will work hard to make their loved ones proud. Indecisive parents, or inconsistent parents (one strict, one lenient), can frustrate them. They want clear, explicit instructions and want to know that their parents' words are genuine.

ISTJ children need a lot of alone time and dislike being pushed into social situations or spending continuous time with others, even family.

As a parent, try to give them more and more personal control as they grow up. Show your appreciation for their sense of responsibility by giving them your trust. 

Like ESTJs, ISTJs can unintentionally hurt other children's feelings because they don't immediately consider other people's feelings. It can be very stressful for them if their close relationships are in turmoil because of something they said.

Parents should strive to model empathy and tact for their ISTJ children and repeat those insensitive comments to them.

2- ISFJ (The Defender)

ISFJs place a high value on family and feel that staying connected with family is very important. They need parental affirmation and a sense of belonging and security within the family.

If parents don't express their love enough, young ISFJs may feel unloved. If they feel they are not meeting their family's expectations, this can make an ISFJ feel like a serious failure. ISFJs very much enjoy familiar, consistent daily routines.

Therefore, unexpected changes like moving, family crises, or changing schools can be very frightening and unsettling for them.

They want to know what's going to happen and how to prepare for the future. ISFJ children are very sensitive and gentle, and they find conflict-filled environments very stressful.

Any form of confrontation can upset them, and they can become very distraught if they are disciplined harshly or yelled at by their parents.

ISFJs need things to be explained to them patiently and gently, and they need time to absorb the information. They are also very aware of what is fair, and because they are so keen on serving, they run the risk of being taken advantage of within the family.

3- ESFJ (The Consul)

ESFJ children crave love and appreciation—and like all **SJ** children, they long for structure, consistency, and familiarity.

They love their families and have a close relationship with their parents. ESFJ children have a strong need for activity and socializing. If their parents are introverted, they often feel suppressed or left out.

They also despise conflict, which can cause them great stress. Relationship tension makes them feel like their world is falling apart, and they can easily be overwhelmed by such things.

As sensitive individuals, they can also easily feel slighted or rejected. If their parents are not very affectionate or do not express love, their self-esteem will be greatly hurt.

ESFJ children are often naturally anxious, and they may become engrossed in contemplating tragic events that could happen to friends or family.

Parents should wisely and regularly reassure their children of their love and tell them that everything will be okay. ESFJs want to know that their parents "always have their back" and will be there no matter what.

4- ESTJ (The Executive)

ESTJs tend to be one of the most responsible and goal-oriented children. They love order and structure and are always ready and willing to make sure other kids follow the rules and get things done.

ESTJ children desire order and structure in life and value fairness. If parents don't notice the efforts of their ESTJ, they can become very frustrated and feel worthless.

They care deeply about others but may unintentionally hurt other children's feelings due to their lack of expression. Parents can help young ESTJs by modeling empathy.

An ESTJ child's sense of self-worth comes largely from the approval of their parents and teachers. They want to be an important member of their family and their community.