The Rarest MBTI Types and Why They Struggle to Find Love
To some, finding a suitable partner seems effortless, but for others, it feels like an endless challenge.
A survey of over 85,000 people by the American psychology website Personality Junkie revealed the varying degrees of difficulty different personality types face in finding like-minded individuals.
User data from the survey:
- Gender: 74% female, 23% male, 3% chose not to answer.
- Age: 57% were 35-64 years old, 16% were 65+, 10.63% were 25-34, 8.36% were 18-24, and 6.27% were 0-17.
The Types Who Struggle Most to Find "Like-Minded People"
According to the survey, when asked, "Do you agree that it's easy to find like-minded people?" the types least likely to say "yes" were:
- No. 1: 13.9% of INTJ (The Architect)
- No. 2: 17.1% of ISTJ (The Logistician)
- No. 3: 21.7% of ISFP (The Adventurer)
- No. 4: 24.2% of INFJ (The Advocate)
- No. 5: 26.3% of INFP (The Mediator)
- No. 6: 27.8% of INTP (The Logician)
- No. 7: 35.1% of ISTP (The Virtuoso)
- No. 8: 37.4% of ENTP (The Debater)
Overall, Introverts (I types) were more likely than Extroverts (E types) to agree that they struggle to find like-minded individuals, with agreement rates of 74.2% and 51.4%, respectively. Intuitive (N types) were more likely than Sensing (S types) to find it difficult to find people with similar interests, with agreement rates of 66.5% and 59.1%.
No. 1: The INTJ (The Architect) Personality
Without a doubt, INTJ is the type that struggles most to find like-minded people.
Part of the reason may be their intuitive nature: there are far fewer N types than S types in the world. Specifically, INTJs tend to get bored with any topic that doesn't have room for intuitive understanding.
They are interested in strategy, concepts, meaning, and exploring future ideas. Small talk and the "getting to know you" phase of friendship can be incredibly boring for them.
Most importantly, they aren't the most emotionally expressive people in the world.
INTJs often appear stoic and reserved, which can make them seem unapproachable to many.
Believe me, as an INTJ, I'm often accused of having "resting b***h face (RBF)," even when I'm feeling very happy and friendly. —Susan, INTJ Reader
Creating "atmosphere," laughter, and friendly small talk are not innate skills for INTJs. While they can learn these skills—if they want to.
No. 2: The ISTJ (The Logistician) Personality
ISTJs are known for being reliable, practical, and having a strong sense of responsibility.
They seek friendships built on mutual respect and shared values. They hope friends can exchange knowledge, share opinions, and laugh over some niche humor.
However, the reserved nature of ISTJs can sometimes make them awkward in social situations, making it difficult for them to open up and meet new friends.
No. 3: The ISFP (The Adventurer) Personality
ISFPs are known for their depth, spontaneity, and profound appreciation for sensory experiences.
They seek friendships where they can let their guard down, be genuine, and discuss interests, values, or creative pursuits.
ISFPs crave sincerity and have no interest in pretense—the moment they sense any hint of falseness or manipulation, they will immediately distance themselves.
Many ISFPs say they find it hard to form genuine connections, initiate contact, and start conversations.
No. 4: The INFJ (The Advocate) Personality
INFJs crave deep and meaningful connections, often drawn to people who are intellectually and spiritually curious.
Unfortunately, they often find it difficult to find others who share their depth or curiosity.
In social situations, INFJs often feel like an "outsider" or that they don't fit in.
The unseen attracts them more than the seen—things that are abstract, mysterious, or intangible.
One INFJ shared, "I long for friendships where we can discuss our dreams, fears, and the deeper meaning of life. Small talk leaves me feeling empty, but I find it hard to meet people who are open to that level of vulnerability."
Despite these obstacles, the friendships INFJs do form often have one hallmark: a deep bond and a mutual understanding that goes beyond the surface.
No. 5: The INFP (The Mediator) Personality
INFPs have a rich inner world, full of imagination, profound values, and a desire for authenticity.
Their idealistic nature drives them to seek meaningful and deep relationships.
They look for relationships where they can express their true selves without fear of judgment.
However, this longing for depth can sometimes make it difficult for INFPs to find emotionally and intellectually like-minded friends, or even to establish initial connections.
No. 6: The INTP (The Logician) Personality
INTPs love to share ideas, theories, and knowledge.
They seek friends who can satisfy their intellectual curiosity and are happy to discuss complex, abstract concepts. They tend to connect with others through online forums or discussion groups, where they can find like-minded communities interested in similar topics.
One INTP reader shared, "Most of my friends were met on forums or gaming platforms. I hate small talk and can easily feel awkward at large social gatherings, and afterwards I reflect on what I might have said or done wrong."
However, due to their introverted nature and tendency to overthink, INTPs may find it difficult to make friends in real life.
No. 7: The ISTP (The Virtuoso) Personality
ISTPs are analytical and cool-headed, focusing on understanding how the world works, solving problems, and pursuing a free and independent life.
However, despite their independence, ISTPs still crave at least one or two close friendships.
They seek witty, casual friendships with people who enjoy exchanging knowledge, engaging in good-natured debates, or simply sharing their dry wit and quick retorts.
However, ISTPs often struggle to form relationships, perhaps because of their introverted nature, their dislike of showing vulnerability, or their aversion to building connections through small talk.
No. 8: The ENTP (The Debater) Personality
Interestingly, ENTPs are the "E type" most likely to agree that they struggle to find like-minded people among the 16 personality types.
Also known as "The Pioneer," they are curious, witty, and tirelessly clever.
On one hand, their thought-provoking ideas and love for debate can excite those who can keep up with their fast-paced minds.
On the other hand, these same traits can overwhelm or even intimidate people who prefer more mundane or casual conversations.
ENTPs enjoy questioning convention and playing "devil's advocate," which can sometimes make them seem argumentative and create tension with those who dislike any disagreement.
What It's Like for the Rarest MBTI Types: A Reader's Perspective
Prudent Advocate: Azeem (INFJ-T)
I find it hard to describe myself because my personality varies greatly in different environments. I feel like a constantly changing group of souls.
It’s also hard for me to accept that deep down, I feel like a child, but on a soul level, I feel like a centenarian. My inner child and old soul seem to be constantly at war with each other.
I’m in a crowd, but I still feel lonely—like watching a movie but not being "present."
Prudent Architect: Luke (INTJ-T)
In my early 20s, I couldn't find intellectually satisfying friendships or romantic relationships. However, over the years, I've come to realize that intellectual friendships aren't always as great as we imagine.
The ones I've had often became a bit boring after a while. I think it's because they focused too much on the exchange of knowledge (sometimes even competitively) and forgot that a friend's primary function is to provide emotional support and at least some fun and laughter (emotional value).
Now that I'm almost 40, I've accepted that reading a good book or watching a good documentary/movie is more intellectually stimulating. I feel more satisfied this way. It would be great to meet a soulmate, but I'm no longer actively looking. What I really want now are friends who can make me laugh and have a warm/kind personality. And friends like that are so hard to find now!